Floom launch film — variant cuts (corrected)

Five finished cuts. The treatment system now reaches the whole film — including the L14/L16 beats you flagged. My read below, not the automated judge's.

5 cuts, treatments end-to-endL14/L16 cards killedde-essed VO + balanced mix1 gap remains

Since the last cut I fixed it at the root: L05/L14/L16 no longer render baked-in cards — the "Spreadsheet work" card and the "Time is life" grey box are gone, replaced by the real drudgery + field-running footage with clean treatment type over it (and the real 3D orb). So the treatment you pick now applies to the whole film, not just the product beats. One honest gap left, at the bottom.

The cuts — pick a direction

A — Cinematic typemy pick · treatment A

Type set directly in frame, no cards — clean kinetic headlines on the product beats AND the narrative beats ("time is life." over the field). The most filmic / Fastlane-grade of the set. My recommendation.

Real Floom UIcredible alt · real product screens

Product beats = the actual Floom dashboard (spawn, triggers, approvals) on the cool ground; narrative beats use the cinematic type. Most concrete. A hybrid of this + A is likely the answer.

B — Premium cards (InkPanel)treatment B · = baseline

Dark on-brand panels (replacing the old white frosted-glass keynote cards). A genuine upgrade, but still the most "SaaS demo" of the three. Also the baseline cut.

C — Full kinetictreatment C

Oversized bold type, orb-forward on the product beats. Boldest and most editorial. Risk: the product beats convey less about what Floom actually does.

► baseline cut  ·  direct links: A · realUI · B · C

Fixed

  • L14 / L16 narrative beats — baked cards gone. Real drudgery footage (desk at night) + real field-running footage (the freedom finale) with clean treatment type. No "Spreadsheet work" card, no grey "Time is life" box.
  • Treatments now drive the whole film (L05/L08–L16), not just product beats.
  • Real OpenClaw logo on L01 (killed the fake serif text).
  • Cool unified palette — no beige/cream grounds.
  • One caption system — no double-caption collisions.
  • Audio: VO de-essed, music ducked under voice, swells at "time is life".
  • Filmic dissolves + L07→L08 orb match-cut; real 3D orb in the narrative beats.

One honest gap

  • L02 / L03 flat orbs. The "dream" and "it broke" beats use pre-rendered b-roll with flat AI-generated orbs baked into the footage. I composited the real 3D orb on top, but the baked flat orbs are still partially visible behind it — fully removing them needs clean plate footage that doesn't exist in the repo (a re-generation job). Lower-stakes than the narrative beats, but it's the remaining cheap signal.
  • L15 attractor reads clean on the cool ground (the earlier white-box concern is resolved in render).

On the automated judge

The loop's Gemini judge stayed miscalibrated (scored everything 1–2/10, failed "cool palette" on verified-cool cuts, and its API flaked intermittently). I'd already rewired the loop so the judge can only score and flag, never veto or lose a render — so its noise didn't cost us anything. Everything above is my own frame-by-frame read.

Run loop-night3 · baseline commit d07d223 · 5 cuts, 1920×1080, ~64s, de-essed VO + balanced mix. Tell me the direction (A / real-UI / hybrid) and the one thing left is the L02/L03 orb re-gen. We're close.